!!!

You know you should have a life outside work … when you start finding bugs in the birthday wishes you get! :-/

 

Movie Talk

I’m not an movie expert, not even close but I think there are two ways you can make a (Tamil) movie successful.

Option 1: Give a good movie. Now, this is not quite as simple as it sounds. You’ll need a good story - one that would appeal to the ‘youth’ and can also qualify as a family story. A family here comprises of two kids, mother, father, one or more grandmothers, zero or more grandfathers and sometimes a great grandmother too; and the movie has to be certified ‘ok’ by them all. And then comes good music - A.R. Rehman, may be, if you can afford him. Item numbers, again catering equally to ‘youth’ and ‘family’ needs. Catchy script with the right amount of punch. Loads of luck and a horde of other factors I’m not aware of. Now, even if you do have all this in you, this option is still considerably risky. (your name closely resembling ‘Mani Rathnam’ might help..but just might)

or

Option 2: A risk-free option. Get Dhanush to star in your movie.

Is it that simple? I’m not kidding. It is. You need to take care of certain things in the movie though

1. First things first. The story. Pick ad-hoc scenes from a variety of movies and string them together. Now, it doesn’t matter how cliched the scenes are or how badly they fit in. Just collect what you can get and be quick. We won’t waste much time here.

2. Remember our hero is an action hero. Ok, now stop laughing. He is and there has to be a fight sequence somewhere in the movie to prove that. Again, you can pick some random fight scene from some random movie and fit it somewhere randomly. But one scene would do. Don’t over-do it. We don’t want our hero in bed for long.

3. Item numbers are a must but care should be taken with respect to the strategic positioning of the hero during the item song. Remember our hero is ‘a good man who will never look, let alone drool, at any girl other than the heroine’. Keep fixating on this point until it hits the heroine (and the audience) like raw spirit, stays through the night and gives them a hangover the next morning.

4. There’s no need for a separate full-paid comedian. Our hero is entirely capable of comedy all by himself.. No, we’re not talking about the laughter he evokes inadvertently with his looks (that’s always there) but the real ‘comedy’ comedy. He has a inborn talent for it (actually it was inherited thru marriage…but that’s not relevant to us anyway).

5. Remember, our heroine will have to be both modern and traditional. How you handle this seemingly oxymoron situation is entirely up to you. I can give you some hints though. A modern and hence, obviously obnoxious heroine will at some point listen to a brash tirade from the hero (which on translation to English would involve a lot of four-lettered profanity), after which point she will automatically become traditional. Now this proven technique, apart from working all the time, also has the advantage of reminding the audience of our hero’s father-in-law, thereby increasing the movie’s chances of success a hundred fold. But on the negative side, too much camera focus on our hero during the tirade-delivery might lead to unwanted consequences … for the audience. So, another way (rather unconventional and untested. So, use at your own risk) to handle this would be to have the heroine explain at some point in the movie why she was modern until now and why, from this point onwards, she will be traditional. The explanation does not have to make sense if the heroine is pretty (in both modern n traditional wear) or if the scene comes at a point where the audience are already too bugged to care anyway.

6. The last but most important point. The heroine should fall hopelessly in love with our hero and preferably, for effect, choose him over some rich cute guy. You might wonder why use a cute guy here when obviously our hero looks like a dork next to him. Well, this contrast should be there to make sure the message reaches crystal clear to the audience - “A good heart will always triumph over good looks and wealth”. You see, educating the public is very important in a movie. The moral science is what the audience pay for, after all. Ofcourse, make sure the rich cute guy never gets enough focus anywhere in the movie. We don’t want the audience sympathizing for him when he gets his bulb. Beats the whole morel science purpose of the movie.

A lot of points to remember, I know, but definitely easier than Option 1, don’t you think?

Case Study:

Yaaradi Nee Mohini - A successful movie of the highest degree…and pathetic to the same degree.

Related Posts:

Unnale Unnale

 

The little red balloon

     I went to church yesterday in a rather grumpy mood. That we were late and had to sit outside (’cos the cozy seats inside were full already) only worsened my mood. While I sat there with only half my mind listening to the pastor droning on about how of all apostles Peter loved Jesus the most and Jesus, in turn, loved John the most (God’s got his favorites too huh?); and the other half of my mind wondering why my life was getting crappier and crappier each day, I noticed this little girl sitting next to me, holding a red balloon in her hands - you know, those heart shaped helium balloons that kids are very fond of? The balloon that is supposed to be held only by it’s strand, this kid was clutching in her hands like one would hold a prized possession. Her tear-stained face sporting a smile and the irritated look on her mother’s face suggested she must’ve gotten the balloon after throwing a reasonable tantrum.

     Things seemed hunky-dory until her little brother - the naughty brats that brothers usually are - pushed her and she, in an attempt to catch her balance let go of the balloon. With her hands still outstretched, she stared at the balloon as it went higher and higher up, out of her reach. I thought any moment she was going to turn around and spank her brother hard or cry for another balloon or may be just sulk. Her mother watched too, with a terrified not-another-tantrum-now look on her face. But to everyone’s surprise, the little kid turned around and said, with a voice full of delight, ‘amma, balloon yesu appa kitta poguthu‘, that roughly (and religion independently) translates to, ‘Ma, the balloon is going to God’. I couldn’t help but smile at that.

     She continued to watch the balloon till it was just a dot and finally said, with a look of pride and satisfaction, ‘poyiruchu‘ (meaning ‘it’s gone’ as in ‘it’s gone to it’s destination’). Am sure God himself must have been distracted for a moment, to watch the little red balloon coming His way. What smile it must’ve brought to His otherwise solemn face! :)

     All of a sudden life didn’t appear so bad after all…

‘Sometimes, a little red balloon, against the dark clouds, is all it takes to make the sky beautiful to gaze upon’

 

The Little Things

Sometimes a little push is all it takes to help someone reach for the stars
and sometimes, just a little word to lift the spirits high.

Sometimes a little memory is all it takes to revive the times that made you smile
and sometimes, just a little lie to believe it’s all gonna be okay.

But sometimes a little push is all it takes to send someone over the edge
and sometimes, just a little word to break a heart so strong.

Sometimes a little memory is all it takes to see it was never meant to be
and sometimes, just a little lie to ruin a friendship long-protected.

It’s the little things you do that make a difference
and what difference you make is what you will be remembered for.

Related Posts:
A serenity prayer
Don’t Look Back
Differences aren’t so bad, you know!

 

The Butterfly Story Retold

The Original:

    Once upon a time in a land far far away, an old man found the cocoon of a butterfly. Feeling lonely he decided to take the cocoon home to watch its transformation to a beautiful butterfly. One day a small opening appeared in the cocoon. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no further. Clearly it was having trouble coming out of the cocoon

    So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took as pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged out easily…but it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

    What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God´s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

    The Moral: If Life had no obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been and we could never fly.

The Tester’s Version:

    Once upon a time in a land far far away (no, not that far away. come back) an old man* found some WinRunner scripts lying around. Feeling bored he decided to modify them, fix bugs in them and beautify the code.

    One day, satisfied with his work, he started the final run of the automation. He sat down and watched it click, type and navigate around the application in it’s own beautiful way. All of a sudden it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no further. Clearly it was having trouble recognizing an OK button in the application.

    So the man decided to help the script move forward and clicked on the OK button. He continued to watch because he expected that any moment the script would continue. Nothing happened. It had just stopped. The script was still looking for the OK button, which wasn’t there anymore ‘cos the old man had already clicked on it. In fact, the entire automation that had been running perfectly fine for several hours had to be totally restarted.

    What the man in his kindness and haste (impatience and stupidity, actually) did not realize is that the Gods of Mercury don’t quite like to be interrupted.

    The moral: When Winrunner scripts are running, just leave the damn thing alone!

* Age and gender changed to protect the privacy of the guilty ;-)

P.S. I know that was a lame post but then, at times, I get a little too philosophical…in a weird sort of way :D