November 12, 2007
Differences aren’t so bad, you know!
Posted by Roopa under drifting away..., life, musings | Tags: attitude, differences, musings, personality types |“I do not, for the moment atleast, ask you to understand me. That will come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of you.” ~David Keirsey
It’s sometimes so frustrating when people expect me to react the way they would or like what they like all the time. I know what you are thinking but no, I’m not this headstrong person always wanting to have my way. I can be docile to some extent, in fact, to a great extent but if you want to see yourself in me, well, for God’s sake get yourself a mirror and leave me alone!
I think relationships would be a lot easier if only we could understand that people are different from each other in their thoughts, perspective, likes, dislikes…whatever. Just ‘cos someone doesn’t see things the way you do doesn’t mean the person doesn’t belong to your league.
While we expect variety in everything - from the things we see to the things we do - why is it so difficult to take, in stride, some variety in people’s attitude and opinions? The way we homo sapiens are biologically wired (No, I don’t know about the other species. I’m not from the Discovery Channel) it’s almost impossible that someone would act and react just the way you do. If you find someone reacting ‘your‘ way all the time, trust me, either that person is lying to you big time or watch out, you’ve been cloned!
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November 16, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Good thought! This is something everyone would have thought about at one point or the other… even then, the way you have put it is nice… especially the quote to begin with…
Anyhow, You could have cited some example (of a situation) to make it more appealing… Oops! Am I trying to make your blog look something like mine? The post is probably good the way it appears now… :)
What you say is correct! People try to make a mirror of themselves in everything and everyone around them!
- akp.
November 16, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Too true.
But yeah,for many ppl,the alternative - which is acceptance of things and people as they are - is too difficult to comprehend.After all,they have spent their life’s energy into fitting ppl into their narrow, and dare I say clouded,perspective :-)
November 16, 2007 at 6:29 pm
akp,
Thanks for the comment. I could’ve cited some examples but I didn’t want to scare away the few readers I have for my blog :D
Abirami,
very true. some people spend all their life’s energy trying to move mountains when they could simply walk over to the other side. At the end of the day, neither has the mountain moved nor have they budged and the only purpose it serves is get people like me to blog about it.
November 19, 2007 at 2:55 pm
You go nearer to (or start to like) a person only when you find their actions/reactions/likes/dislikes/… are in your way, in someway or the other. Meaning, you like them & want such characteristics/attitude in yourself or near to yourself.
Your post says abt the expectation one has in having the other person to be in his/her way will happen only in “hard-wired” relationships where-in you are bound to lead together for some reason. So you gotto compromise & convince yourself for not being yourself.
I don’t assume anyone to be expecting their “clone” kinda behaviour in yourself. But atleast some behaviour that is in “nearfield” of your opposite is very much needed. Its the Prodigy of Peace.
To make two extremes meet, you need to contain a lot of things. But for the nearer ones, the circle is always small.
November 19, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Ranjhith,
I agree you tend to like a person who shares some common interests with you but if you get this ‘he/she isn’t my type’ feeling just cos the same person shows interest in something that doesn’t appeal to you so much, then that’s not a good sign. This is true for hard-wired and loose-wired (?) relationships.
“So you gotto compromise & convince yourself for not being yourself” This is what the post is about. It’s ok to expect someone to change in some ways to suit you but if you want the person to change himself/herself so much so that the person is no longer able to feel himself/herself in the relationship, that’s when frustration sets in.
“I don’t assume anyone to be expecting their ‘clone’ kinda behaviour in yourself” well, you are probably one of those lucky ones who haven’t met such people :)
December 1, 2007 at 11:34 am
Accept the commonness
Respect the differences . . . .
:D
for most people its their nightmare to be like me . . . or rather i’m their nightmare
he he he
so hardly anybody wants to be like me
ok! ok! there r a few who like to be like me in a few areas . . . . i have no problem in that . . .
December 5, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Thanks for the comment Sukla
well, as long as you don’t have a problem with people not wanting to be like you, you’ll be fine and so will people around you.
“Accept the commonness, Respect the differences”
well said :)
February 20, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Roopa,
I happy to say that u touched and framed very common thought very nicely. Ya very true it happens at one or other point of time in everyone’s life where your near dear ones want to be equipped with attitude n thoughts of the type what they think are gud….
I remember one thought from my mother she told me at the time I am in the process of searching for my soul mate n glad to share with you “getting married is something like being yourself with somebody” I think we can apply this thought everywhere where people tries to make there mirror.
February 20, 2008 at 4:19 pm
“getting married is something like being yourself with somebody”
Thanks for that nice thought, Richa. It’s true ,the best relationship to be in is one where you can be completely yourself and feel good about it too. Ideal relationship, actually :)