(This post has been lying around in the ‘Drafts’ for quite sometime. Considering the movie is still running in the theaters, you wouldn’t consider it too stale if I go ahead and publish it, would you?)

Take Dil Chahta Hai and make it a little boring, take Boys and make it a little matured or take any ‘we-shall-beat-all-odds-and-fulfill-our-dreams-after-10-years’ movie and strip all emotions off – and surprise, you get ‘Rock On’! A movie in a class of it’s own…but only because it could not belong anywhere else. I’m not even sure whether I liked it or not. It did rock in some ways – ways that are quite beyond me but in most other ways it only rocked me to sleep.

Anyway, I’m not going to crib about the movie here like what you might expect me to do (if you’re new here, well, for no mistake of mine, people who know me consider me as this incorrigible criboholic. But that’s not true ok?). I just wanted to leave a little open note to each of the cast, appreciating their very existence in the movie and the world at large (and I think the 160 bucks and the 3 hours that I spent on the movie has earned me the right to use their first names)

Farhan, a little drama in a movie never hurt anyone. But forced laughs, a croaky voice and I-don’t-know-what-to-do-so-I’ll-just-stand-around-here looks, that hurts a movie rather badly. And you aren’t even that good looking, you know? (though you got a cute smile) Anyway, this movie makes you an all-rounder in movies huh? That’s nice and that’s huge…but you know what? We like you better as a director. Stick to that, ok? Seriously!

Arjun, Man! With that looks, you can get away with anything, but acting just isn’t your thing. Hey but don’t go away. We, girls want you on the screen…more. (Btw, you absolutely rocked in that bandana look during the first half…but the second half, please please tell me that wasn’t you)

Luke, you were good but I’m sorry, even the I’m-sick-hold-me scenes did not fetch you any limelight in the movie. They could have used you a bit more.

Purab, acting is not just standing around and smiling at every damn thing!

Shahana, you were the only one in the movie who could actually act but we’ll keep that compliment a secret ok? We don’t want our Farhan boy all upset. It looks like, even in real life, he can’t stand anyone stealing his thunder. (Btw, if only I were a guy, I’d have fallen in love with you at first sight)

Prachi Desai (I’ll address you this way ok? you don’t sound  good with just your first name), you are as cute as a wax doll, which, mind you, is not  a compliment. When it comes to acting, well, here’s where people get to say ‘no comments’!

Rest of the cast, you pretty much never existed in the movie but thanks for being there anyway.

And the guy who came up with the script (you aren’t even worth a search in Wikipedia for your name), what’s the opposite of ‘catchy’? We’ll call it adjective, dfkjnisdnkbbmid ok? That’s what your script was. A big dfkjnisdnkbbmid!

So would I recommend the movie? Well, for sane, matured people like me (ahem!), it’s not a movie to plan for but if someone insists on taking you for it and promises you free popcorn, go for it. It won’t kill you. For all others, a must see movie.

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