rambling


(Warning: This is one incoherent post you’d rather not read. Trust me)

Everyone gets exactly one chance in life to be and act totally insane. I used up mine this February.

*****

A phone conversation sometime in January:

Me: (Looking at the calendar): Hey, know what? This February is a full four week month.

Friend: Err..what?

Me: You know, it’s got four full weeks, each starting on a Sunday and ending on a Saturday. Covers four columns in the calendar completely. Know what I mean?

Friend: Yeah, I get it (actually wanting to say, “yeah, so what?!”..or may be, that’s what he said)

Anyway, I don’t remember what was said before that and what after that, but it’s strange how the little things you say offhandedly in a conversation, comes back to haunt you much later.  Little had I realized then that the four full weeks I’d talked about so carelessly would turn out to be four full weeks of disappointment, confusion, hurt, pain, happiness (yeah, I was happy too, for reasons I can’t quite comprehend now)  and many many what-is-happening-to-me and why-is-this-happening-to-me moments.   It was a month where I’ve said and done, and believed things that were totally ‘NOT ME’! While the trials and tribulations I’ve been through in the past have made me realize my strength, this one scared me. I was lost. I desperately tried to find myself only to move farther away…

As I sit here on the last day of the month, introspecting and trying to figure out what went wrong, I can’t think of anything. All I know is that it has been an insane month for me and I’d like to be excused from it..forever. Even on Judgment Day. Are you listening, God? No questions about Feb ’09, ok?

*****

I was trying to book a train ticket yesterday and this is what irctc had to say:

feb as irctc sees it

(Click to enlarge)

This is the first time irctc had ever made me smile. In some sense, it feels good to know that February has only 28 days…and that it’ll be over soon.

I have no clue how March is going to be, or for that matter, any of the coming months. It’s scary. It could be as bad as Feb or even worse. But there’s one thing I know for sure it’s NOT going to be: Crazy!

Oh btw, I’m not the only one who thinks February is the worst month of the year.  This person does too..for different reasons. From the article:

Speaking of holidays, February ‘holidays’ are nothing more than a pathetic excuse to sit around and think about how painful February really is.

The few and far between great parts of February are only attainable through either great expense or extreme luck, and always carry a serious risk of public humiliation.

How very true!

P.S. This isn’t the kind of post I’d normally put up in my blog, but what the heck, I’ve still got a few hours to go before Feb ends and I can still claim the right to be insane until it’s over.

P.P.S. There’s a good chance this post would be removed in a few days.  Naturally, ‘cos it’s not something I’d like to revisit any day. So don’t look for it if it suddenly disappears. (That’s for those of you who actually came this far in reading it, in spite of the warning)

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Saw it here. Liked it. Stole it. It isn’t really a tag but a forward made into a tag; a fun one though.

1. Were you named after anyone?
Nope, but had they given me a choice, Roopa would have been the last name I’d have picked.

2. When was the last time you cried?
I don’t remember but those tear glands of mine are super active. They come to life every now and then for no reason.

3. Do you like your handwriting?
Sometimes yes. Mostly no.

4. What is your favorite lunch?
Anything that is not our cafeteria food.

5. Do you have kids?
No.

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Yes. In fact, I’d prefer being my friend than being me.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Not a lot. Just sometimes when I’m miffed and sometimes when I’m bored and sometimes when I’m happy…alright, a lot.

8. Do you still have your tonsils?
Yes.

9. Would you bungee jump?
Sure. Let me finish this suicide letter first.

10.What is your favorite cereal?
Cornflakes.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
No.

13. What is your favorite ice cream?
Umm..I don’t quite have a preference. (Some people don’t. Now, stop giving me that look!)

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?
The way they are dressed..as in neatly, badly or carelessly.

15. Red or pink?
Red.

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself?
My cribbing.

17. Who do you miss the most ?
As of now, reality.

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you?
Yes but who is everyone here?

19. What color shoes are you wearing?
Not wearing shoes now.

20. What was the last thing you ate?
Dried dates.

21. What are you listening to right now?
Someone yelling in Kannada on the road. Oh u mean music? Nothing.

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Red. We ran out of red? Ok, black.

23. Favorite smells?
Petrol, fresh paint, anything lemony..and oh, the smell from the pages of a new book.

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Bro.

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
That’s like asking a thief, ‘do you like the person whom you stole from?’.

26. Favorite sports to watch?
Er..

27. Hair colour?
Brownish black…or blackish brown. Whatever.

28. Eye color?
Brown.

29. Do you wear contacts?
No.

30. Favorite food?
One more question on food and I’ll scream! Alright, anything to do with baby corn.

31. Scary movies or happy endings?
Scary. But it had better end well.

32. Last movie you watched?
Don’t remember..

33. What color shirt are you wearing?
White.

34. Summer or winter?
Winter.

35. Hugs or kisses?
Both. The Hershey’s ones please. Thank you.

36. Favorite dessert?
Litchi with ice cream.

37. Most likely to respond?
To what?

38. Least likely to respond?
Er..

39. What book are you reading now?
Critical – Robin Cook.

40. What is on your mouse pad?
I don’t have a mouse pad.

41. What did you watch on tv last night?
News…that said my company was laying off people. The very few times I watch the news, I hear stuff like this :(

43. Rolling stones or beatles?
Will have to pick? Ok, Beatles.

44. What is the farthest you have been from home?
A state away.

45. Do you have a special talent?
Stuff like eating scorpions, lifting airplanes, etc? No.

46. Where were you born?
Coimbatore.

47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back?
Change this to “who are you going to tag?”.  Abirami, Prathiba, Shoba and Shriram. Hopefully, atleast one of them will do it.

…and it’s that time of the year when people make you feel a tad left out and unwelcome in the excitement… ‘cos you did not stay up late on New Year’s eve thinking about how the previous year went, how you’d like the new year to be, what you’d like to change in yourself and all that interesting stuff that new year blog posts are generally made of. Instead you were busy thinking about who you should call, who you should message and who you should give a missed call to before the mobile networks shutdown for 30 minutes in  memory of the past year. The next day, New Year’s day, when people ask you what your new year resolution is and your mind suddenly goes “er..”, you realize you aren’t quite welcome into the New Year without a resolution to share.  Now, not that my new year started any less happier than anyone else’s but this have-to-take-a-resolution thing that people insist on always leaves me feeling a li’l lost. I mean, what’s wrong with the way I am, except for the fact that the way I am sucks?

Anyway I finally decided to give in to the pressure and take a resolution this year. (A whole week late, I know, but what the heck. They taught me in school that it’s better late than never and I’m going to utilize that excuse to the full extent whenever and wherever possible)…

You know how every time you get those forwards on astrological signs and you start comparing your own personality with the traits of your (zodiac) stereotype? Well, I’m not so much into astrology and I don’t quite care where the stars and planets chose to party when I was born (liked they cared about my birth!), but I think  Taurus is the coolest sign to be in. I’ve always been proud of being a Taurean. But, then, I look at myself and analyze how well I fit in as a Taurean; and that’s when the proverbial fall comes. I’ve none of the cool Taurean traits I’m supposed to have!  I sometimes wonder if I really was born in May or my parents just chose May for my birthday ‘cos it would be summer vacation and they wouldn’t have to buy me toffees to distribute in school.  Anyway, getting back to the resolution stuff we were talking about, here’s  my resolution for 2009:  Become a real Taurean…ok, atleast a near Taurean.

The cool Taurus traits I will try to adopt starting 2009 (note the emphasis on the “try”. That’s to keep you from asking me for status reports):

–Stubborn–
The Taurean trait. I call this a birth right more than just a trait.

–Determined and strong–
Let me just say, I SO want to be…

–Practical–
My blog title, “drifting away from reality”.  Need I say more? Time I stepped down to earth. Things must have changed a lot there since I last visited.

–Sensible–
Tough one to work on, I k now, for a person blessed with less than required common-sense but heck, I’m atleast gonna try.

–Patient–
Well, while I am usually quite patient with people (now, that’s not a cue for you to test it, ok!), being patient with myself and life, in general, is what I think I should try to be.

–Ferociously angry–
The very phrase, ‘ferociously angry’ sounds like fun, no?

–Relaxed and laid-back–
“Someone please stop this whirlpool in my head. It’s dragging me in!”.  A line I keep telling myself very often. High time I cleared the garbage dump I’ve made of my mind in all these years.

–Lazy–
I’m enough and more lazy already but what I’m going to do is to stop worrying about people nagging me about it. I’ve the right to be lazy ok! The stars said so.


The cool traits that I don’t have and can’t do anything about:

–Creative–
ahem!

–Artistic–
I can’t, for the life of me, understand ‘Art’.

–Financial wizard–
(Saw this in one of those astrology sites) Finance? Me? Seriously?

The un-cool traits that I ‘don’t have and don’t care’ much about:

–Possessive–
I don’t think this is a Taurean trait. There must have been some mix up somewhere. Cool people are not possessive.

–Honest —
bah!

–Punctual–
how very boring to be punctual all the time! Nobody would even notice you.

–Law-abiding–
I’m not exactly sure when being law-abiding went from cool to uncool but really, I don’t care much.

–Loves food–
:D A big joke! people who know me personally would vouch for that.

So, people, now that I have a resolution (as fuzzy as it  may be), can I please enter 2009? Thank you.

Wish you all a happy year ahead!  (Didn’t I tell you, it’s better late than never?)

(This post has been lying around in the ‘Drafts’ for quite sometime. Considering the movie is still running in the theaters, you wouldn’t consider it too stale if I go ahead and publish it, would you?)

Take Dil Chahta Hai and make it a little boring, take Boys and make it a little matured or take any ‘we-shall-beat-all-odds-and-fulfill-our-dreams-after-10-years’ movie and strip all emotions off – and surprise, you get ‘Rock On’! A movie in a class of it’s own…but only because it could not belong anywhere else. I’m not even sure whether I liked it or not. It did rock in some ways – ways that are quite beyond me but in most other ways it only rocked me to sleep.

Anyway, I’m not going to crib about the movie here like what you might expect me to do (if you’re new here, well, for no mistake of mine, people who know me consider me as this incorrigible criboholic. But that’s not true ok?). I just wanted to leave a little open note to each of the cast, appreciating their very existence in the movie and the world at large (and I think the 160 bucks and the 3 hours that I spent on the movie has earned me the right to use their first names)

Farhan, a little drama in a movie never hurt anyone. But forced laughs, a croaky voice and I-don’t-know-what-to-do-so-I’ll-just-stand-around-here looks, that hurts a movie rather badly. And you aren’t even that good looking, you know? (though you got a cute smile) Anyway, this movie makes you an all-rounder in movies huh? That’s nice and that’s huge…but you know what? We like you better as a director. Stick to that, ok? Seriously!

Arjun, Man! With that looks, you can get away with anything, but acting just isn’t your thing. Hey but don’t go away. We, girls want you on the screen…more. (Btw, you absolutely rocked in that bandana look during the first half…but the second half, please please tell me that wasn’t you)

Luke, you were good but I’m sorry, even the I’m-sick-hold-me scenes did not fetch you any limelight in the movie. They could have used you a bit more.

Purab, acting is not just standing around and smiling at every damn thing!

Shahana, you were the only one in the movie who could actually act but we’ll keep that compliment a secret ok? We don’t want our Farhan boy all upset. It looks like, even in real life, he can’t stand anyone stealing his thunder. (Btw, if only I were a guy, I’d have fallen in love with you at first sight)

Prachi Desai (I’ll address you this way ok? you don’t sound  good with just your first name), you are as cute as a wax doll, which, mind you, is not  a compliment. When it comes to acting, well, here’s where people get to say ‘no comments’!

Rest of the cast, you pretty much never existed in the movie but thanks for being there anyway.

And the guy who came up with the script (you aren’t even worth a search in Wikipedia for your name), what’s the opposite of ‘catchy’? We’ll call it adjective, dfkjnisdnkbbmid ok? That’s what your script was. A big dfkjnisdnkbbmid!

So would I recommend the movie? Well, for sane, matured people like me (ahem!), it’s not a movie to plan for but if someone insists on taking you for it and promises you free popcorn, go for it. It won’t kill you. For all others, a must see movie.

…after months and months of hiding behind the ‘writer’s block’ excuse.

To the countless readers I have around here (countless because I once tried counting and the numbers were disappointing) I apologize for having left this blog stranded for a  rather long time. It was due to some unavoidable circumstances, which I shall make up and present to you in a convincing manner at some later point in time. For now, please welcome me back and wish me luck!

For the lack of anything else worth posting, here’s a quick stats that WordPress reported for my blog today:

Total views: 7,192   (No, I did NOT rig the numbers. Stop insulting me ok!)
Busiest day: 64 – Sunday, October 28, 2007   (Is it a co-incidence that it’s a Sunday, a day most people are jobless?)
Views today: 0 (Didn’t I just say ‘count-less’? And you thought I was bragging!)
Posts: 31
Comments: 191
Akismet has protected your site from 645 spam comments. (Now, here’s one sincere, regular reader I have for my blog – the spambot)

Before I leave, thanks Abirami and Anonymous (who seconded and thirded Abirami) for goading me to write again. I don’t know if I really will be writing or just abandoning the blog again (you know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater) but thanks anyway. I will definitely try to keep writing but you know, those unavoidable circumstances…I haven’t made them up yet.

I’m not an movie expert, not even close but I think there are two ways you can make a (Tamil) movie successful.

Option 1: Give a good movie. Now, this is not quite as simple as it sounds. You’ll need a good story – one that would appeal to the ‘youth’ and can also qualify as a family story. A family here comprises of two kids, mother, father, one or more grandmothers, zero or more grandfathers and sometimes a great grandmother too; and the movie has to be certified ‘ok’ by them all. And then comes good music – A.R. Rehman, may be, if you can afford him. Item numbers, again catering equally to ‘youth’ and ‘family’ needs. Catchy script with the right amount of punch. Loads of luck and a horde of other factors I’m not aware of. Now, even if you do have all this in you, this option is still considerably risky. (your name closely resembling ‘Mani Rathnam’ might help..but just might)

or

Option 2: A risk-free option. Get Dhanush to star in your movie.

Is it that simple? I’m not kidding. It is. You need to take care of certain things in the movie though

1. First things first. The story. Pick ad-hoc scenes from a variety of movies and string them together. Now, it doesn’t matter how cliched the scenes are or how badly they fit in. Just collect what you can get and be quick. We won’t waste much time here.

2. Remember our hero is an action hero. Ok, now stop laughing. He is and there has to be a fight sequence somewhere in the movie to prove that. Again, you can pick some random fight scene from some random movie and fit it somewhere randomly. But one scene would do. Don’t over-do it. We don’t want our hero in bed for long.

3. Item numbers are a must but care should be taken with respect to the strategic positioning of the hero during the item song. Remember our hero is ‘a good man who will never look, let alone drool, at any girl other than the heroine’. Keep fixating on this point until it hits the heroine (and the audience) like raw spirit, stays through the night and gives them a hangover the next morning.

4. There’s no need for a separate full-paid comedian. Our hero is entirely capable of comedy all by himself.. No, we’re not talking about the laughter he evokes inadvertently with his looks (that’s always there) but the real ‘comedy’ comedy. He has a inborn talent for it (actually it was inherited thru marriage…but that’s not relevant to us anyway).

5. Remember, our heroine will have to be both modern and traditional. How you handle this seemingly oxymoron situation is entirely up to you. I can give you some hints though. A modern and hence, obviously obnoxious heroine will at some point listen to a brash tirade from the hero (which on translation to English would involve a lot of four-lettered profanity), after which point she will automatically become traditional. Now this proven technique, apart from working all the time, also has the advantage of reminding the audience of our hero’s father-in-law, thereby increasing the movie’s chances of success a hundred fold. But on the negative side, too much camera focus on our hero during the tirade-delivery might lead to unwanted consequences … for the audience. So, another way (rather unconventional and untested. So, use at your own risk) to handle this would be to have the heroine explain at some point in the movie why she was modern until now and why, from this point onwards, she will be traditional. The explanation does not have to make sense if the heroine is pretty (in both modern n traditional wear) or if the scene comes at a point where the audience are already too bugged to care anyway.

6. The last but most important point. The heroine should fall hopelessly in love with our hero and preferably, for effect, choose him over some rich cute guy. You might wonder why use a cute guy here when obviously our hero looks like a dork next to him. Well, this contrast should be there to make sure the message reaches crystal clear to the audience – “A good heart will always triumph over good looks and wealth”. You see, educating the public is very important in a movie. The moral science is what the audience pay for, after all. Ofcourse, make sure the rich cute guy never gets enough focus anywhere in the movie. We don’t want the audience sympathizing for him when he gets his bulb. Beats the whole morel science purpose of the movie.

A lot of points to remember, I know, but definitely easier than Option 1, don’t you think?

Case Study:

Yaaradi Nee Mohini – A successful movie of the highest degree…and pathetic to the same degree.

Related Posts:

Unnale Unnale

The Original:

    Once upon a time in a land far far away, an old man found the cocoon of a butterfly. Feeling lonely he decided to take the cocoon home to watch its transformation to a beautiful butterfly. One day a small opening appeared in the cocoon. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no further. Clearly it was having trouble coming out of the cocoon

    So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took as pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged out easily…but it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

    What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God´s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

    The Moral: If Life had no obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been and we could never fly.

The Tester’s Version:

    Once upon a time in a land far far away (no, not that far away. come back) an old man* found some WinRunner scripts lying around. Feeling bored he decided to modify them, fix bugs in them and beautify the code.

    One day, satisfied with his work, he started the final run of the automation. He sat down and watched it click, type and navigate around the application in it’s own beautiful way. All of a sudden it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no further. Clearly it was having trouble recognizing an OK button in the application.

    So the man decided to help the script move forward and clicked on the OK button. He continued to watch because he expected that any moment the script would continue. Nothing happened. It had just stopped. The script was still looking for the OK button, which wasn’t there anymore ‘cos the old man had already clicked on it. In fact, the entire automation that had been running perfectly fine for several hours had to be totally restarted.

    What the man in his kindness and haste (impatience and stupidity, actually) did not realize is that the Gods of Mercury don’t quite like to be interrupted.

    The moral: When Winrunner scripts are running, just leave the damn thing alone!

* Age and gender changed to protect the privacy of the guilty ;-)

P.S. I know that was a lame post but then, at times, I get a little too philosophical…in a weird sort of way :D

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